Aisle himself escorts 2 of his employees to the back room.
Aisle: Men, I called you back here for an all-important reason. You two are my best baggers, Tip & Tuck. And I know which one of you works the hardest while the other gleans those rewards. First, about my name. Yes, truly my given name Is “Aisle”. My family hails from Scotland, the Aisle of Man, not to be confused with the similarly named real estate. I’m getting to a point here so please be patient. I am just one of just so much Maisleage, successive Aisles. My great, great, grandfather’s full name was Aisle O’Outclanish (we’re Scot Irish). They subsequently intermarried with their neighbors the Hyphens and added the Deal. But, Aisle O’Outclanish-Deals is just too costly for signage purposes, though commercially catchy, catch? So, why in the world did I call you back amongst these tinned diminishing profits? Well, each month I have my own little way of remembering and commemorating the Scottish flag, the St. Andrews Cross. The X is actually the Greek letter Chi which is emblematic of Christ & His Cross. Also, it’s a cost-effective way to remedy my homesickness. Now, where do you two laddies come in? This meeting’s two-fold. First, earnings have dropped, and we have to literally “cut” costs somewhere. And what I propose will also recreate my beloved, St. Andrews.
I’ve custom ordered our usual paper bags minus the bottoms; I save over 2 cents per bag. Why my 2 cents worth? Well, beginning today Tip (time to earn) will cross his forearms (like St. Andrews) underneath where the bottom used to be. Tuck shall then first bag the purchases with light, geometric purchases like facial tissue, toilet tissue, cereal boxes and the like. This will create a false bottom allowing you Tuck to then load heavier purchases like 6-packs of Noncola et cetera. Tip, once at the shopper’s car deftly slide your arms away. Should this be discovered one may truthfully say there is a bag basis shortage, which there truly is in this instance. When the month is out, we’ll go back to where Tip charmingly be-strides the kitty litter garnering those gratuities whilst Tuck resumes the heavy Papier lifting.
Next Month’s Special Will Be Rindless Melons…Seeds Extra…
*A Rind Is A Find…